on the needles

Monday, December 19, 2005

DIY Channel Couture Knitting

I just saw my first ever episode of Knit One, Purl Two hosted by Edith Eig, and I have to say - Eet was 'orrible.

I'm at home, the kids are out of school and all the Christmas presents have been purchased. I am - essentially - having a day off. Imagine my excitement to discover (after a quick cruise through the tv guide) that I can finally catch an episode of one of those fabled television knitting shows. Knitting! On television! I'm so there! I settle down with my sock and get ready to watch. (No it's not the second Conwy sock - I caved to my simple ribbed sock impulse, okay? But we're not discussing that now....)

Well, I know nothing about this woman Edith Eig except that she is very obviously French. I gathered that she owns a knitting shop somewhere - somewhere where there are minor celebrities like Nora Dunn who stop by and try to learn to knit. A quick peek at the DIY site and you find out that in fact, Edith is no ordinary knitter - she is actually "Hollywood's knitting GURU"!! The celebs like Edith Eig's shop because at HER shop - unlike other shops - they can learn to knit "couture" projects. Wow! I am prepared to be impressed.

So what was Edith's snazzy project today? A tie scarf. Knit out of two strands of Berroco Plume Fx and some other piece of shiny crap held together. And because she obviously doesn't want to frighten the knitting celebs she has them knit this ugly hairy yarn on size 15 needles. Big needles = easy, right?

The stitch is garter. Nothing wrong with garter stitch - but how would the tv audience know that? It was impossible to see how the stitch was formed and what it should look like with all of those strands of yarn, the hair and the huge baseball bat needles coupled with the crappy camera angles. So anyone who was watching this to actually learn something was probably pretty frustrated.

And according to Edith, the "most common" knitting mistake was adding a stitch. Who knew? I would have thought dropping a stitch was perhaps a tad more common - but you learn something new everyday. Thanks, Edith!

Don't get me wrong - I am happy that there are ANY shows on tv with knitting related content! I wish the whole world would knit - I love to share the fun! But I am fervently hoping that no aspiring knitters saw that show today. If I had been presented with that nasty crap as an example of "couture" knitting and forced to knit it for my first project it would have also been my last.

In fairness, I did look at the back episodes of Knit One, Purl Two and they seem to at least feature some less disgusting yarns and even a feather and fan stitch. I know that beginners need to start somewhere but that is no reason to dumb down everything. And I don't care how many hairy tie scarves there are on the red carpet this season - you won't catch me wearing or knitting one! Maybe the show is so bad BECAUSE of the celebrities. It must be difficult to do all of that handholding and ass kissing AND teach someone to knit at the same time. :)


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