on the needles

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Fugly Sweater

Just because Chris said she had to see it...(and if you have to gouge your eyes out after seeing the horror - blame it on her!) :)

Presenting the Fugly Sweater - otherwise known as the Beast.

At first glance it's not so bad. The yarn, Schaefer Elaine in the Renata Tebaldi colorway, is reasonably pretty, it knits up well and didn't pool or flash.

Although boucle isn't normally my cup of tea (okay never my cup of tea) - still I had fun knitting this sweater. The pattern was perfect for mindless tv knitting - you knit the front and back panels and the two sleeves and then join them together and knit the yoke in the round. Minimal seaming - what's not to love about that? The pattern for the High-V Sweater was created just for use with this particular yarn - which pretty much implies a guaranteed success, right? The pattern was well written and easy to follow. Also, it came free with the yarn.

So far so good. It's only when you finish the sweater and try it on that you realize how horribly wrong everything is.

No - I'm not going to model it for you. The silly face picture is as far as I am willing to go in the self humiliation category. Suffice it to say that if you are "well endowed" a slim fitting sweater in a bulky boucle yarn is not going to do anything for your figure. Not anything nice anyway.

This yarn and this pattern were never meant to be joined together in my opinion. Not unless you are a size negative zero and really need a sweater that will disguise your severe anorexia. Otherwise, I don't care how slimline the sweater is - you are going to look like a linebacker. A linebacker that got puked on by a truckload of pastel mini marshmallows.

Absolutely vile.

However - don't you think this yarn would cute on a little girl? Maybe as a Tomten ala Elizabeth Zimmermann? Or a Baby Surprise modded to be more like a coat? What do you think? Is there any hope at all? I do want to try to reuse the yarn since it is obscenely expensive.

The silver lining in this cloud is that I looked up Renata Tebaldi. She's fan-freaking-tastic! (Not sure if I think that Schaefer's colorway really fits her personality though...)

See Renata Tebaldi performing Madame Butterfly! (I dare you not to get tears in your eyes.)

And performing O Mio Babbino Caro (one of my all time favorite arias!!!)

And I have to throw in this one just because her hair is ultra-fab! You go opera girl!

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Blogger Chris said...

I fear to imagine a human in that!

I HATE when you end up with a crazy pairing like that - I swear, there are about 3 people in the country who would look good in a sweater knit from boucle or chunky yarn - and they're all anorexic and/or models for the patterns. ;)

I think it would make a pretty blanket or warm shawl or a number of lovely baby jackets. How washable is it? If it's handwash, I'd say knit a shawl instead.

2:53 PM  

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